What to do, who to contact when death occurs or is imminent:
When we are called by a family to report a death has occurred, there are two questions that determine our next step. Where did the death occur- at home, a hospital, convalescent home, or elsewhere? From where did the person call to inform us of a death? Once we obtain this information, our course of action is established.
When a death occurs at home, the medical examiner must release the person to our custody before we can take that person to our chapel. Usually, this happens after the police are notified, come to the house to file a report, and a doctor verifies his or her willingness to sign the death certificate.
When death is imminent, calling the police and medical examiner in advance might be helpful to avoid unnecessary delays.
When death occurs at a hospital or convalescent home, the family is required to sign a release before the funeral home is allowed to take that person to the chapel. Frequently, convalescent homes will ask families to sign the release to a funeral home when admitting the informed to their facility. This is done to avoid delays since most of these facilities are not equipped with a morgue.
As soon as someone is entrusted to our care, the family is assured that we will observe the customs and traditions that have been followed throughout our history.
The Ira Kaufman Chapel is available to you 24 hours each day, every day of the year. When you call our chapel, you will never speak to an answering service, we do not possess one. We respond to your questions, whether you seek information about a funeral, times of services, times for shiva, family preference for charitable contributions, or to report a death.
Regardless of the hour, our chapel is never left unattended. As Jewish custom dictates, a shomer (religious watchman) is always in our building, ensuring that no one is alone from the moment a person is brought into the chapel until they are taken to the cemetery.
The mitzvot of Bikur Cholim (visiting the sick) is followed by the concept of Kavod Ha-Met (honoring the dead). Up until this time of death, we focus primarily on the needs of the infirmed. When death does occur, our focus then turns to honoring the deceased. This is the same as equating a dead body with a damaged Torah scroll. It may no longer fits its original use, but still deserves reverence for the holy purpose it once served.
As we prepare to bury the body at the cemetery, the shomer is there to pray on behalf of the soul. There may have been other reasons for this custom in ancient days, but the idea of "guarding" the body between the time of death and burial is based on Kavod Ha-Met. This custom also continues to bring comfort and solace to the families we serve.
If you have attended a funeral at our chapel, you may have noticed Jacob Feldman, our daytime shomer. Jacob is a member of JARC (Jewish Association for Residential Care) and has been a valuable member of The Ira Kaufman Chapel for more than a decade. An Orthodox Jew, Jacob truly understands and appreciates the mission of his work, while becoming the first JARC resident to have and maintain a full-time job.
When a family gathers together at the side of someone whose life is nearing completion, this time presents an opportunity for spiritual guidance and fulfillment. Judaism offers especially beautiful prayers, appropriate for the situation, that can bring comfort and meaning at such a difficult time.
The Sh'ma is often recited at the bed side of a dying person:
Sh'ma Yis-ro-eil: Adnonai Eh-lo-hei-nu, Adonai Eh-chad!
Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.
A family may take solace in the 23rd Psalm:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want, He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for He is with me. With rod and staff, He comforts me. He prepareth a table before me in the presence of my enemies; He has anointed my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the House of the Lord forever.
Although lay people generally associate the act of confession with the Roman Catholic church, Judaism has written within it an important place for personal revelations. A prayer that has provided comfort to the dying and their families for generations is the Vidui (Confessional). Taken from the High Holy Day season, the public pronouncement of sins is more widely observed, but the lesser-known deathbed confessional, Vidui, is of equal, if not greater power.
Rabbi Eliezer declared: "Repent one day before your death." Whereupon his disciples asked: How does one know which day that is? "Exactly," answered the sage. "For that reason, we ought to live our lives each day as though it were our last."
The Vidui is an opportunity to comes to terms with God as death approaches. Whether read by the infirmed, a rabbi or the entire family, Judaism contains within its roots a method to provide meaning and purpose at this critical period.
The Vidui Confessional
(English followed by Hebrew)
By the individual: "My God and God of my ancestors, accept my prayer. Do not ignore my supplication. Forgive me for all the sins which I have committed in my lifetime. I am abashed and ashamed of these deeds I have committed. Please accept my pain and suffering as atonement and forgive my wrongdoing, for against You alone have I sinned.
May it be Your will, Adonai my God and God of my ancestors, that I sin no more. With Your great mercy, cleanse me of my sins, but not through suffering and disease. Send a perfect healing to me and to all who are stricken.
I acknowledge to You, Adonai my God and God of my ancestors, that my life and recovery depend on You. May it be Your will to heal me. Yet, if You have decreed that I shall die of this affliction, may my death atone for all sins and transgressions which I have committed before You. Shelter me in the shadow of Your wings. Grant me a share in the world to come.
Parents of orphans and guardian of spouses left behind, protect my beloved family, with whose soul my own soul is bound.
Into Your hand I commit my soul. You have redeemed me, Adonai, God of truth.
Hear, O Israel: Adonai is Our God, Adonai is One.
Adonai is Our God. Adonai is Our God."
Read by another, if individual is unable:
"Adonai, our God and God of our ancestors, we acknowledge that our life is in Your hands. May it be Your will that You send perfect healing to (name of infirmed). Yet, if it is Your final decree that s/he be taken by death, let it be in love. May her/his death atone for the sins and transgressions which s/he committed before You. Grant her/him a portion of the abundant good which is held in store for the righteous, and give her/him life replete with joy in Your presence, at Your right hand forever. Protector of orphans and guardian of spouses left behind, protect her/his beloved family, with whose soul her/his own soul is bound. Into Your hand s/he commits her/his soul. You have redeemed her/him, Adonai, God of truth.
Hear, O Israel: Adonai is Our God, Adonai is One.
Praised be God's glory for ever and ever.
Adonai is Our God. Adonai is Our God."
